Shattered Toilets and The South African Jaws

I went out to Muizenberg today (or actually a week ago because I just set this damn blog up) to shadow a reporter doing a story on how Cecil Rhodes’s Cottage Museum (actually the annex building next to it) had been broken into by thieves to steal copper. Apparently copper has seen a worldwide increase in value. The thieves shattered a toilet into pieces in order to get to the copper pipes. Needless to say, if you plan on visiting the museum anytime soon, make sure to hit a bathroom before you get there.

It wasn’t much of a story by itself (the real story is about copper theft increasing dramatically) but it did allow me to see the magnificent beaches of Muizenberg. The town is located on the False Bay side of the cape. Rhodes’s cottage sits right on a beautiful beach with rolling waves and incredible views.

As pretty as the town is, what it’s most well known for is Great White Shark attacks. There have relatively recently been 5 shark attacks in the Muizenberg area and one in which a 70 year-old woman was basically bitten in half. The belief in the area is that it was the same shark in all the attacks.

Great White shark attacks are actually incredibly normal in South Africa. Since 1990 almost half of the world’s reported Great White shark attacks have come from South Africa. So in other words, I’m having second thoughts about surfing down here.

The World’s Worst Drivers or the World’s Worst Pedestrians?

For years people have argued about which country has the world’s worst drivers. Although South Africa may not win this coveted award, it should certainly earn honorable mention. South Africa has an insane number of fatalities every year from car accidents. There are also a ludicrously high number of pedestrians hit and killed in the country as well.

And it’s not hard to see why. After having spent time on the road in this country it’s apparent that people don’t give a rat’s ass about the speed limit (I’m not even sure there is one), no one wears a seatbelt and the cars are tiny diesel powered deathtraps. The roads are also so narrow in some places that playing chicken with an oncoming car is frighteningly common. Throw the most confident (or unbelievably stupid) pedestrians into this mix – who dive into traffic at an alarming rate, and all hell breaks loose.

I’ve seen some gutsy pedestrians in the US, most notably in states like Massachusetts where pedestrians are protected by law. But they don’t hold a candle to South Africans. A lot of people here don’t seem to realize that you won’t win a fight against a 2000 lbs. car.

Getting Stoned on Hell’s Run

One of the more interesting spots as you head on in to Cape Town from the airport is a spot on the highway known as “Hell’s Run.” The nickname is a bit of an exaggeration since this isn’t exactly Highway 10 into Baghdad, but it still has its moments. On both sides of the highway are the infamous Cape Flats; also known as the townships; also known as “informal settlements” to the politically correct. Here people literally live in hand-made shacks that are constructed out of just about anything. What some people from the townships have been doing for years is getting on the passenger walkways above the highway and dropping large stones onto the cars. The goal apparently is to cause a wreck and then rob people. I don’t know about this method’s success rate, but it can sure make you an alert driver. Nobody likes getting stoned in the face while driving (which has happened).

Life's to do list

Well, I’m here in Africa now which effectively eliminates two more things on the list of “stuff you should do before you die.” Those two things are going to Africa and going south of the Equator. Both missions accomplished - and conveniently at pretty much exactly the same time. And I live right about 2 football fields to the left of that second giant green patch on the right hand side - in a suburb called Oranjezicht. Don't worry, I can't pronounce it either.